Yesterday was the anniversary of our Holy Ceremony, September 16,2008. We would have celebrated nine years of marriage. I still don't know how to feel. I read a book recently, "90 Minutes in Heaven" and I was so happy to think that you have indeed gone to a much better place than this life chose to share with you. Then I see a picture of you, think of you, and all I can do is taste my salty, bitter tears.
I had planned to visit your gravesite yesterday, but, I ran out of hours in my day. If you were here, that NEVER would have happened. I remember what I read in "90 Min" and think, you are probably busy yourself and no longer concerned with earthly concerns. That makes me feel happy and sad at the same time.
One year ago yesterday, you shared with me what you had found out from your doctor's visit, the one you refused to let me attend with you. I got home from work, we sat on the couch together; the cancer had matestizised. The enemy had spread, there was very little hope to fight it.
We, you and I, had been fighting this monster for 18months at that time. You were then and continue still, to be the most brave person I had ever met. I was lucky and married my HERO!
In all my years, I never thought I would be so lucky to have met such a kind, caring, beautiful, loving, selfless soul but there you were, saying, "I will" to ME! You wanted to share your life with me! I was so happy on our wedding day. We were able to share our day with family and friends, that made it all the more special.
I know that it is selfish, but, I wish I could have just one more day with you. We could go to that spot on the beach where you proposed to me. This time I would not be scared or embarrased to hold your hand or steal a kiss. Maybe we could go to that out of the way "Lobsta Shak" that we fell in love with in Canada, just the two of us. Maybe then, days like today would not be so damned hard.
I miss you with every ounce of my soul.
