Triggers and memories - oh my!

Funny the things that trigger memories. I looked at my watch today a little before 9:30 am; I was in a meeting filled with a bunch of tech professionals, everyone was engaged in discussion. I could not put my finger on it. I decided to work on email as the discussion did not pertain to me. As I turned off my screen saver, there she was. I built a collage of Lin's pictures and placed them as the background for my desktop. She was smiling in each picture; we were playing on the beach, some of the pictures, only four months old. 9:30 am was when she was pronounced, gone, dead. I packed up my stuff and rushed out the door as quickly as possible; to everyone in the room, I was on a mission; for me, I needed to breathe.

I went on-line today and created a new radio station on http://www.pandora.com/ . I called the station, Lin's music. I selected nothing but rock that she liked. I have been listening to it since I got home and worked from my desk here this afternoon. Teh station will evolve as time passes, try it; it is fun! This is the link to her station: http://www.pandora.com/stations/c98c7d961d53764d4d60d32c4a7675473a5582c0cdf59754


I went out to lunch with two new friends, Meredith and Emily. I have been cooped up with them since early January working on a project. We went to Main Street Grill. When I met Lin, I owned and lived in a house on Main street. A little time after Lin moved in, the restaurant opened. We made this our place. We would walk down the sidewalk, a whole two blocks and be greeted by Jo. She always, OK almost always, sat us in the same booth. We would wine, dine and laugh. Jo would usually place a bottle of wine in a bag for us to take home with our fantastic strawberry cheese cake; we didn't think we could get in trouble for drinking and walking. Walking in there today was made easier by being with friends.

All in all, I had a good week. There were a couple of times when things were great and I wanted to share my feeling with someone; the first person that popped in my head was Lin. I always called her first to share whatever was happening to me. Who is the first person you like to share with?

When I went to Houston over Christmas, I had an experience. I was driving, took the wrong turn and immediately looked over to my navigator's seat, there was no one to blame but my self that time around. It made me wonder, how many times I had blamed her for wrong directions, when it was really me. Not a sad thing, just reminded me that I can be an a-hole at times... It was a very quiet ride. We used to sing, laugh, eat sunflower seeds and get lost together; doing this by myself was pretty scary stuff. I wonder how many pilots like to fly solo versus have a co-pilot/navigator?

I hope that wherever Lin is today, she is well. She never met a stranger - I imagine someone somewhere is probably wanting her to make her point...she could get a little long winded. I hope she has visited all the beaches that we had only wished we could one day see.

I can't wait until the day that we can once more look into each other's eyes. I saw your beautiful soul dancing in the sun today as I sat in your car. I had pulled the top down and there were no clouds only bright sunshine beaming down on me and warming my being. It felt like you were with me. These were the types of days that you cherished. Days where you were outside from sun-up to sun-down. I miss you!

Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay - Otis Redding
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knymoALfH9o